Looks like old posts disappear.  So here’s a re=post of one that’s gone for friend Shawna:


You don’t have to be mad to work here,
but it helps.
Yelps of consternation sweep the nation
unnerving the world
as the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual
of Mental Disorder is unfurled.

The book on which drug companies thrive.
The psychiatrist’s bible.
If you read it you’re liable
to discover you’re not all there,
madder than the maddest of mad march hares;
mad as an Englishman having fun
out in the midday sun;
barking mad as a rabid dog,
or hopping mad as a box of frogs;
mad as a sandwich short of a picnic,
nutty as a fruit-cake,
crazy as a coot,
just plain old-fashioned lunatic.

In one way or another,
blame it on your father
or maybe on your mother
if you’re hyper, if you’re tired,
if you’re dull or if you’re fired,
if you’re sacked or not been hired,
if you’re a pathologic liar,
if you yearn to be admired,
parade on beaches unattired,
if you’re brain stem’s wrongly wired,
if your sanity’s expired
you have a Mentally Acquired
or you’re MAD in short.
You’re caught in the DSM-5 disorder trap.

Are you compulsively tidy, obsessively neat?
You’ve an order disorder.
Is your hedge the wildest in the street?
You’ve a border disorder.
Are you agnostic or don’t believe?
That’s a Lord disorder.
Do you collect stamps or pressed dried leaves?
You’ve a hoarder disorder.
Does no-one listen to what you say?
That’s a being ignored disorder.
Do you clap persistently to get your way?
An applauder disorder.
Do you want to bring happiness every day?
A rewarder disorder.

One thing is certain,
one thing is true
this is a spiral of catch 22.
But no matter what,
no matter who,
no matter which,
it’s important to be rich
to afford a disorder.
Or maybe join the official list
of those acquainted with matters like this.
Yes train to be a psychiatrist
with your very own
broader disorder disorder.

17th May 2013

Notes:  “New US manual for diagnosing mental disorders published.”  The field of mental health faced its greatest upset in years with the publication of the long-awaited and deeply-controversial US manual for diagnosing mental disorders.  Early drafts of the fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, or DSM-5, have divided medical opinion so firmly that authors of previous editions are among the most prominent critics