A year ago today and I picked up this bizarre headline – the latest in must-haves for the dynamic office. Keep fit whilst working by replacing your desk with a fully equipped treadmill with laptop, phone and all the necessary accoutrements for maximising office efficiency!
Rush, rush, no time today to walk outside
in this roller-coaster ride,
the supersonic pace of life,
no time to ease the stress, the strife.
We use the lift and not the stairs.
Our working days are spent in chairs.
Our bodies wither, muscles waste,
arteries clogged with cholesterol paste.
What’s the solution you might ask?
The answer’s simple – multi-task.
In fact the answer’s quite grotesque –
an ergonomic treadmill desk.
Yes you can now both work and walk
on a treadmill whilst you talk.
Choose the programme to suit you best –
long-distance, mountain, and all the rest.
Whilst you tap your laptop keys,
change your programme as you please.
Two miles per hour, three or four,
still use your mobile as before.
It seems like the employer’s dream
but it’s not that simple it would seem.
Now “Miss Jones please hold my call”
means “I’m about to hit my wall”.
And when you’re marching up Scafell
can you decide to buy or sell?
“Hold the front page” is secret code
for “two more miles along this road”.
You have to ask “have we progressed?
Is this the answer to our quest?
Are we the human race for real?
Or just hamsters on a wheel?”
30th January 2013 – headline from the BBC
Notes: “Treadmill desks: How practical are they?” Many experts believe that there is convincing evidence that sitting all day is killing us. Faced with such a litany of negative consequences, Levine has tested and promoted the concept of a treadmill desk as a way of countering the effects of modern day living. Google, Microsoft and Evernote, and the hotel chains Hyatt and Marriott, are among the companies using treadmill desks. Some companies have a check-out system, while other users prefer to have their own dedicated desk, for the entire day.