One year ago today there was the incredible story of the cat smuggler who was trained to carry escape tools into a prison near Recife. Definitely a light-hearted approach needed for this story so here it is written as a series of limericks.
the great escape
In a prison not far from Recife,
a hitman, embezzler and thief
all sat down one day
to plot their getaway
in a scheme that beggared belief.
They brought up a kitten called Juan
whom they trained with slices of ham.
Through the prison he’d coast
with the stealth of a ghost,
all part of their dastardly plan.
In eighteen months Juan was a cat,
a ninja-like fine acrobat.
Through the dark he could glide,
from the light he could hide
whilst carrying tools on his back.
Then one night an accomplice from home
strapped up Juan like a cyberman clone;
some drill bits, a saw,
a file and, what’s more,
a battery, a charger and phone.
But that night was the night of Juan’s fate.
He was carrying far too much weight.
The load made him slow,
he had no place to go,
when spotted whilst crossing the gate.
The guards held him for almost a week;
enticed him with fish and with meat.
But they never did find
the plot’s mastermind
because as they said
with faces so red
“that pussycat just couldn’t speak!”
(Or perhaps he wouldn’t ……!)
6th January 2013 – headline from the BBC
Notes: “Cat ‘arrested’ for break-in at Brazilian prison.” You couldn’t conjure up a more incredible story, although I have added a little poetic licence. This happened in a prison in Arapiraca city, about 250k from Recife in Brazil. A prison spokesperson was really quoted by local paper Estado de S. Paulo as saying: “It’s tough to find out who’s responsible for the action as the cat doesn’t speak.”