‘Badgers are moving the goalposts’ says Owen Paterson of cull


badgers (Photo credit: jmuttram)

What a farce!  The Environment Secretary, Owen Paterson, believes that the badgers subject of the present cull are moving the goalposts to make the cull less effective!!!!  Of course it begs the question of why we’re culling anyway.  The TB argument seems to be weak and why don’t we just vaccinate wild badgers against TB instead – the cost of capturing and vaccinating seems to be less than the costs of culling and it is a more humane solution.


Moving the Goalposts

Come badgers all,
come answer the call,
let the clarion sound through the land.
Life never was dull,
now we’re facing a cull
so it’s time to take our last stand.

They’ve been out to war
and been put to the sword
in Iraq and Afghanistan.
The tables were turned
their fingers were burned.
They need a win wherever they can.

It’s no time to stare
like rabbits caught in the glare
of the headlights of genocide.
The Tories are killers,
we must think like guerrillas,
move swiftly, with stealth and then hide.

We brocks can’t out-box them
so we’ll have to out-fox them,
make them think there are fewer of us.
We’ll move the goalposts
and vanish like ghosts,
leaving nothing but moonlight and dust.

When the snipers arrive
we must duck, we must dive,
escape through the back of our setts.
We can’t stop and fight,
we must melt in the night
and claim asylum in friendly Dorset.

Our strategy’s clear.
We must make it appear
Owen Paterson’s a bit of a knob.
We’ll put him in his place,
he’ll have egg on his face
as soon as he opens his gob.

By reducing our number
we’ll make him look dumber
when he stands up to brag and to boast.
He’ll have to confess
his targets were a guess
and the badgers have moved the goalposts!

No-one could conceive,
no-one would believe
that we badgers could be really that smart.
And Owen Paterson
will sound like the one,
the dim-wit in charge of this farce.

9th October 2013 – headline from the Guardian

Notes:  ‘Badgers are moving the goalposts’ says Owen Paterson of cull.”  The controversial badger cull in England has been branded a “farce” by opponents after ministers confirmed the marksmen have been forced to seek extensions in order to kill the minimum number required.  Despite the government slashing by two-thirds in 12 months its estimate of the number of badgers in the Somerset cull zone, marksmen still failed to reach their target.  “The whole situation is a farce,” said Gavin Grant, RSPCA chief executive. “They keep moving the goalposts on how many badgers exist and how many need to be killed but, whatever the figures, it is clear the system has failed.”  The environment secretary, Owen Paterson, who argues the cull is an essential part of stemming the rise of tuberculosis in cattle, said: “I am not moving anything – the badgers are moving the goalposts!!!!”


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