Swino is dead: Boozy feral pig who found fame after getting drunk on stolen beer dies in car accident

Cover of "Animal Farm: Centennial Edition...

Cover of Animal Farm: Centennial Edition

Remember Animal Farm?  I like pigs, intelligent creatures with personality.  So the death of Swino hit me right there.  Writing an epitaph for a pig is not easy; I wonder if anyone has done it before.  I think it was Charles Lamb (ironically) who eulogised about pork crackling but it’s not quite the same, is it?

 

Swino is Dead

The Pig is dead.
Long live the Pig.
What do you say of a pig that died?
At least he tried.

This was the pig who only a month ago hit the big-time in a camp-site in Pilbara, somewhere in Australia, which he raided one night and in a feral rite of passage imbibed several cans of lager, picked a fight with an innocent passing cow, lost sight of his mission, took flight, had a swim in the river (don’t they have crocs out there who’d go spare for a rare piece of pork), saw the light of his plight and fell soundly asleep under a half-sunken log, the drunken hog.

Now Swino the wino pig is dead,
hit by a passing car.
Maybe he’d gone one tinny too far.
At least he’d tried, this porcine beast,
to make a name for himself.
He was no slouch, no couch potato.
He may have been boorish
but he was no bore,
this corker of a porker,
this king of the boars,
who bore with pride
the fame with which he’d been bestowed
before his demise upon that road.
He’d had a good time.
He’d hit the pig-time.
Now it was his time.

The Pig is dead, long live the Pig.

 

6th October 2013 – headline from the Independent

Notes:  “Swino is dead: Boozy feral pig who found fame after getting drunk on stolen beer and starting a fight with an innocent cow dies in car accident.”  A boozy feral pig that shot to international fame after drinking 18 cans of beer, starting a fight with a cow and causing chaos at an Australian campsite has died in a car accident.  Local authorities confirmed ‘Swino’ had recently been hit by a passing vehicle in a remote stretch of the northern Pilbara region, adding that he had been identified by distinctive marking on the back of his ears. It is not known if Swino had been drinking prior to the accident.  Last month the boorish porker went on a drunken rampage at the DeGrey River campsite in Port Hedland after stealing and drinking three six-packs of beer that had been left unguarded.  After he drunk the alcohol, events took a somewhat predictable turn with ‘Swino’ starting a fight with a cow, demolishing nearby tents and rubbish bins in his hunt for a midnight snack, recklessly swimming into the middle of a river, before eventually collapsing drunk underneath a log.

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One thought on “Swino is dead: Boozy feral pig who found fame after getting drunk on stolen beer dies in car accident

  1. Pingback: A Tale Of Two Thoughts: Reflections On Swino The Bacchanal Pig | Third News

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