Day 2 of catch-up and here’s an interesting item from 20th August about a receptionist called Shanice.
how I adore thee like a summer’s day.
Come outside and play with me.
You look at me askance and say
“I don’t understand, could you put that another way?”
So gay, so polite and so serene
but I know you’re not quite what you seem.
Your wide smile beams at me
and others whom you greet, Shanice.
So sweet, so trim, so neatly dressed
and you never take a break.
My heart aches for you, Shanice.
You’re never sick.
You work through thick and thin,
always with that perma-grin,
so welcoming, Shanice.
I know you don’t know everything
but you try to do your best
and you stand the test of self-restraint.
When someone rants with an obscure complaint
you maintain your calm, Shanice.
No harm in that.
Your charming smile beams beacon-bright
and, speaking slow,
you tell the member of the public where to go.
“I’m sorry, sir, I must defer
and refer you to enquiries over there.
I simply can’t compute.”
“Can’t compute? What excuse is that?
Do you take me for an idiot?
I know not what’s got into you,
so take me to your manager, I insist.”
Shanice’s smile persists.
“Sorry, sir, it was not my intention to impute
that you were such a foolish man.
You see I really, truly can’t compute,
I’m just a simple hologram.
20th August 2013 – headline from the Guardian
Notes: “Shanice the holographic receptionist is no perfect employee.” Meet Shanice. She’s a young woman who greets visitors at Brent town hall. Whether you’ve come for a wedding ceremony or to fill out paperwork, Shanice’s wide smile never wavers as she points you towards the waiting room on her left, or up to the mezzanine. She is perhaps the perfect employee. For in addition to her impeccable manners, she never takes a break to go to the bathroom or for a cigarette; she never calls in sick, or tells off an obstreperous member of the public when pushed too far. Better still, some would say, is that Shanice requires neither pay nor pension. This is because Shanice is a hologram, projected to make it appear as if she’s sitting behind a desk, just like a real receptionist.